The one thing every reader can agree on is that the most interesting part of any book is the dedication page. Sure, the book itself might be a gripping, emotional thrill ride. But all we really care about is who the author loves enough to dedicate a stack of paper to.
(Related: 9 Undeniable Benefits of Physical Books Over eBooks)
However, I believe that too many book dedications strike the same chord—one of appreciation and devotion. Boring! People are missing out on all the other great emotions, like spite or anger.
In the hopes of serving as a literary catalyst for this new generation of to-be dedicators, here are seven sample book dedications I’d love to see:
- To Marissa, who never thought I’d amount to anything. Well who’s “a petty dork” now, Marissa, huh? Huh?!
- To the eBook production assistant I was mean to on the phone, but who always gave me the benefit of the doubt and took the high ERROR ERROR FILE CORRUPTED
- To dedications, because love needs to start from within.
- To Carl, who told me I’d never be able to finish a book and then said he’d also never check in a bookstore or online to confirm it. Someone, please find and tell Carl about this, he lives in Denver.
- To the sun for not exploding before my first royalty check arrives in the mail.
- To the one person who did any real research for this book: Google’s search algorithm.
- To publishing a book without an editor, because really, who needs one, right? Why limit the creative flow, or stifle free expression, or cut down any stream of consciousness, so long as it streams from the brain of a genius. “You have to stop writing run-on sentences,” they said to me, oh how they said it, to me in particular, and also they said, “No one will buy a book with so many run-on sentences, Gary, not one publisher!” Well to all of you, I say, “Ha! Ha ha! Who needs you and your fancy editors?” I’m doing just fine on my own, thank you very much, and I even hit my word count in record time! In fact, I have to say that…oh I think I’m running out of space on the dedication page, let’s see if I can fit the rest in over the Table of Contents.