With the new (and final!) season of The Good Place premiering September 26, you can bet I have very little else on my mind (–7,000 points for focusing on nothing but a TV show and not saving the planet or snails instead).
Yes, I’ve rewatched every episode (–8,000 points for the electricity used; –2,000 points for not giving time to other television shows).
Yes, I’ve cried over the fact that this near perfect sitcom must come to an end (–20,000 points for the tissues used, which elevate my carbon footprint).
Yes, I’ve followed all the actors on Twitter (+10 points for supporting another human being;
–25,000 points for being on Twitter).
Yes, I’ve contemplated my own mortality and morality, the meaning of space and time, and obviously, the trolley problem (–5,000 points for the work I didn’t get done while doing so; +100 points because one less tree was killed due to the things I didn’t print).
But still, I’ve found myself with a bit too much time on my hands while waiting for Season 4, and in order to fill the time, I’ve decided to do what I do best: recommend books! So, without further ado, here are my recommendations for what our favorite Good Place characters should read, which they’ll likely have no time to do now that they’re a bit busy fighting for all our souls… (+1,000 points for reading; –20,000 points for the number of trees murdered for these books; –2,000 points for the books I wasn’t able to recommend while recommending others;
–4,000 points for the books on this list I’m claiming to have read but haven’t; –1,000 points for the slightly cheesy list concept; –2,000 points for creating my own point system and making up point values).
Point total due to writing this article: –94,890